Can You Forgive Yourself that You React on Stress?
Many people believe that the negative experiences from the past, and especially the unhealed wounds and scars of the past are still affecting their life, so and the past for them is very fresh and real for them: they recall and replay some painful situations again and again, punishing themselves unnecessarily many times. Being able to forgive is a true challenge for almost every woman.
Forgiveness is like a long-term treatment, treatment because to forgive yourself is very difficult and it needs many efforts to be really done. I had this issue for myself and I know it is very hard to overcome it. But I can ensure you that the past can be healed and the lessons we have received can improve our life now and in the future and I have learned this not in an easy way.
We follow our childhood pattern and stick to the family values and social traditions because we are much influenced by our surroundings and the environment we grow in. We cannot forgive ourselves that we are not as perfect as we think we should be and sometimes we do not realize that releasing the painful emotions and fears that makes us feel uncomfortable is a very powerful way to reduce our daily stress and feel much better.
After years of self-work and self-observation I found out that it was easier to deal with people, situations and even with yourself, when you had already mentally asked for forgiveness. The best practice is to forgive first the situation, that bothers you, then the persons you have problems with and finally to yourself for allowing to be involved in such a troublesome way. I know it is more confusing when we try to explain something, when we blame somebody or quarrel without any outcome, so I suggest you to do all this mentally, you can also replay it in a more positive way and with the exit that you wish to happen: it works in the same way as if you have done it physically.
Remember, the past is different from the future and we create our lives in the present moment. The past is gone, the future has not come, and so only the present moment is real for us. There is nothing more than the present. Here are some action steps I want you to follow in order to master forgiveness. They are taken from my own experience and have been very useful for me, so I hope to be helpful for you too.
- When a situation or a person drives you out of control and when you are angry with yourself, begin to breathe deeply for a minute or two.
- Close your eyes and try to see yourself, the person, the situation, then say mentally, “I forgive myself for being involved in this situation”. “I forgive the person who involved me in this situation” and “I forgive the situation that triggers me to react like that”.
- Remember, it is very important not what you think but how you think of yourself, so try to see all the lessons and opportunities in the challenging experiences that life gives you.
And now you can decide what to do when you know at a deeper level that it is the time to forgive at least yourself in order to reduce the daily stressors and live a better life. And I will appreciate all that things you want to share with me!
Category: Stress Management
